Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Proof of Bob

There exists in New Eden, in both known and Wormhole space, Heretics and non believers who deny the existence of Bob. Today, I put this discussion to rest.

With the latest round of Sovereignty changes all inactive Territorial Claim Units have been reclaimed by CCP. As these structures double as Sacred Altars to Bob in Wormhole regions, this is a serious affront to Bob and all whom worship him. Countless corpses have been sacrificed at our Altar followed by the recitation of the prayer; to remove such a sacrosanct place of worship is the clearest indication yet that those who follow Bob are under direct assault from CCP.

As a final gesture to Bob, dozens of collected corpses and shuttles were sacrificed only moments before down time. The prayer was said one last time at this holiest of places and we bid our final farewells amongst the shrapnel of bombs and cleansing light of our star.

Bob does not always see fit to reward us for our sacrifices, but surely such a statement of our devotion would not go unanswered? Indeed, Bob saw fit to provide us the content we so deeply desire and, as is increasingly the case, via a low mass wormhole the following day.

A devoted scout of Bob identified a mining fleet of eight Prospects, presumably extracting gas, from a Wolf-Rayet Shattered Wormhole system. Further inspection established that they were in fact mining Pristine Arkonor, presumably oblivious to the imminent danger thanks to the good grace of Bob. The team formed up in our best ships to deal with such a target and warped to the rock being so industriously mined by all eight ships. Bubbles went up and, although scattering to all directions, every last Prospect and their pilot was systematically hunted down, relieved of their vessel and their conciousness so that their now soulless husk could be offered to Bob, in His glory.

Bob's Sacrifice

By no means was this a great hunt or even a win against the odds. It was far more valuable than that. It was the clearest indication yet of how He favours His chosen people. Hail Bob.